Ferdinand

The tug on my hair startled me and both my feet left the ground as I reacted. Once safely landed again, I turned to see what had attacked me.

An imp was floating there. This creature definitely belonged in the supernatural realms, not my bedroom. He had motley green skin, a Buddha-like belly and a wide, black-toothed grin. Tiny, ineffective genitals hung between his chubby legs. His eyes were an impossible shade of violet.

“Ferdinand,” I nodded towards the imp. “It’s been a long time.”

“The boss wants to see you.”

I cracked a short laugh. “I’ve retired.”

The imp sat there, mid-air, smiling, showing off those revolting teeth. I could read his plan easily. He was going to hang around until I caved in and obeyed the summons. But I can be just as stubborn and I really did not want to follow him back into the Demonic Realm. I had paid the price for liaising with demonkind. I owed no one anything.

“Okay then,” I smiled back at the imp. “You can keep me company. Not a problem. Boring maybe. I’m going to have a shower.

Watching the imp float up to the ceiling in a fit of ecstasy made me smile. Imps delighted in human flesh. They preferred to touch but I never allowed Ferdinand that much pleasure. Observation only.

Ferdinand was going to be shocked. Humans age quickly and badly compared with imps. The creatures were virtually immortal.  Only the demon who owned them could cancel their existence.

When I stripped for the shower and let Ferdinand a glimpse of my body, I heard the weirdest noise. Nails on a blackboard, crossed with whale song, crossed with an atomic blast filled my ears. Ferdinand had finally noticed why I was retired.

“You’re missing bits.”

“Yeah,” I muttered back.

“The boss will be disappointed.” Ferdinand was now floating at knee height.

“The boss knows all about it,” I growled as I closed the shower door on him.

Behind the glass, I let the water from the shower head mingle with the water from my eyes. I hated any reminders of those rotten years. No matter how hard Ferdinand begged I would never be of use to his master again.

“Yes, you will.” Ferdinand was in the shower with me.

“Get out!” I squealed.

Not just out of the shower but out of my head. His boss, Mebook, must have opened the link to my mind. It was illegal, but Mebook was a senior level demon and never cared much for rules.

Once washed, I faced the challenge of dressing. The thumb and first two fingers of my right hand were missing. That makes doing up fastenings hard. Thank God for Velcro. The other bit of my anatomy missing in action was half my right breast. Both were the final price of my freedom from Mebook.

Ferdinand gazed at my scarred breast, his eyes screwed up in horror. While his focus was on my body, I took a moment to study him in return. Imps don’t die but it seemed that they could age. The black teeth, the popping, violet eyes and the round belly had not altered since the day I first met him. What was different was his size. I was certain he had shrunk. Rolls of loose skin around his middle and his neck supported my thoughts. Could imps get dehydrated? Could they get sick? Was his health part of the reason he was here? I finally realised something was very wrong.

Regardless of his condition, he was still on his boss’s orders, waiting me out. He was hopeful that, at least, I would ask for an explanation of his presence. What he could not comprehend was that the woman I had been was now very badly broken. He could not see the scars inside, both physical and emotional.

“The boss says he needs you.”

“No, he doesn’t. I’m old, Ferdy. He’ll have other servants to do his work.”

“Not now. Bokrik won them all.”

Bokrik. The name rang a bell.

I laughed, “Oh dear. Did he lose much status?”

Ferdinand did not share my joy.

“Bokrik caught him, holds him captive. The boss won’t last much longer.”

Now I was truly curious. “Won’t last? Demons live forever.”

Ferdinand snorted. “Theoretically, but not usually. A younger one will come along and suck their essence out. Slow and painful.”

I had to sit down.

“Oh,” Ferdinand continued, “And you humans can destroy them, but you know that.”

I stared at the ugly little imp floating in front of me. “What will happen to you and Mebook’s other minions?”

“Bokrik takes us.”

“You don’t want that?”

“I’m old too. Bokrik’s ways will be new and confusing. I’d rather be cancelled.”

“How long, in human terms is not much longer?”

Ferdinand looked down at his belly. He was silent which worried me. After I had taken several breaths he spoke. “About a quarter year. Three moons, I believe. Maybe.”

Now I was shocked. Something that had scarred me deeply was failing. I had lived with the damage Mebook had inflicted for so long. “I need to think.”

“No, you don’t. You know what to do.”

Oh, yes, I knew what Mebook wanted me to do. Why he had sent Ferdinand. And, yes, it was something I, possibly, was capable of. That did not mean I wanted to do it. Then again, was it right to turn down a true plea for help, even if it came from a demon?

“Bokrik is arrogant. He won’t fear a puny human. He already owns several.” Ferdinand was being practical rather than reading my mind now .

I sighed, “Do you know what Mebook wants me for?”

Ferdinand was silent.

“What will I be paid?”

“Hey, I’m just an imp. The messenger. That stuff, you have to negotiate with the boss.”

There would be no negotiation. I could not bear to tell the imp that. I had only asked to inject a tiny piece of normality into the moment.

The time, long ago, when I had sold myself to Mebook for a kilo of pure heroin flashed into my head. My mother overdosed on it two days later. Maybe I was wrong, but when I found that out, I had been relieved that her suffering, and mine, was ended. Not that I didn’t suffer my own trials. Of course, Mebook used me for his pleasure. Only when he was bored with me, was I able to negotiate a deal where all he kept was some of my flesh. But I did not have to watch Mam sell herself for the means of escaping her life.

I strapped my prothesis on my wrist and looked at my very technically advanced, plastic, thumb and fingers. Tears once again, pricked my eyes.

I had been young, foolish and hopeful when I first met Mebook. Who or what was I now? Definitely not young. As for foolish and hopeful, well, the next few moments would tell me that.

“So, Ferdy, can you get me in to see Mebook without this other demon knowing?”

“Yay!” Ferdinand floated upwards. “Oh, awesome human, you make this little imp so happy.”

I sighed. Yes, I was still foolish and hopeful.

Ferdinand got away with gross but cute. He bore little resemblance to his master. Mebook was just gross. Demons do not have health problems, otherwise they would all die from morbid obesity. His girth, though, was only intimidating. His smell was much, much worse. The best I could describe it was like a container of rotting fish left in the sun for a month. As for his looks, there was something vaguely humanoid about his mouth but he had no nose. Perhaps that was because even demons could not stand their stench. His eyes were, as all the stories said, glowing red.  Demons had no hair either, but they did have tentacles. There were stubby arms and legs but instead of fingers and toes, there were slimy tentacles.

Demons are, of course, the colour of puke; green orange and yellow. This gives them camouflage when they visit the human realm.

I wanted to choke. I knew I would soon be vomiting. So, before I gave into my very human reaction, I tried to take note of our surroundings. There was nothing but rock covered in slime to see. He was squeezed into a cave. My back was against metal bars. I knew there was no door to this prison. Mebook could never leave.

I could not speak. I could not even keep my eyes open to watch his skin ooze fluid. Nonetheless, I stepped right up to the demon and reached out with my good hand to touch him.

In my head, I began to chant, “You, Mebook, are worthy of love, you are loved. God loves you. I love you.” Over and over.

Somewhere, deep down, that foolish, hopeful part of me believed what I was thinking.

A painful slap on my face caused me to blink. Ferdinand was floating right in front of my nose.

“What are you doing?” His hysterical question was a high-pitched squeak.

I could not open my mouth to answer. He could see the results anyway. With each repetition of my chant, Mebook was fading. I was, literally, loving the demon to death.

I closed my eyes again and returned my focus to the chant. This had to be done quickly, without hesitation. We did not want Bokrik to notice strange happenings in his dungeon.

“Mebook, God loves you, you are loved. I love you.”

Suddenly, Mebook was no longer beneath my hand. A moment later there was the sound of a balloon popping. My eyes flew open again. The back of the cave was all I could see until I looked down. A dark, fatty stain covered the floor.

“Master, what have you done?” Ferdinand yelped.

“Master?” Oh no. Of course. As the defeater of Mebook, I won his last remaining servant.

“Home, now,” I ordered.

And I finally choked and heaved with the sulphurous odour that filled the chamber.

Then I was breathing normal air again, back in my bedroom. Ferdinand was hovering about a metre away. I looked sadly at the imp. “So, Ferdy, what do you want to do now?”

“What can I do?” He replied. “This isn’t my realm.”

“Um.” The horror of being responsible for this creature hit me. I could not give him the existence he had been created for.

“Ferdy, this is it. I know the rules. You are bound to me until I die or I cancel you.”

I did now want to think about what would happen to him when I died. A masterless imp would not be a good thing.

“Master?”

“Ferdy?”

“Will cancelling hurt?” The little imp was snuffling.

“I don’t know. Is it what you want?”

“I will only cause you trouble here.” Ferdinand admitted.

“Okay,” I whispered.

I took one last look at the imp who had served his previous master so well. Then I could see nothing as tears blinded me.

“Imp Ferdinand. I hereby cancel you.”

A pop, little more than a soap bubble loud, sounded. I began to sob.

“Wow!”

I blinked through the tears.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, putting my prosthetic fingers to my mouth.

Floating exactly where Ferdinand had been was a little creature glowing with white light. He still had the round belly, tiny genitals and violet eyes but now his skin was luminous, peppermint green and his teeth sparkled whitely. Stubby wings sprouted from back.

He gave an experimental flap of his new wings and flew abruptly upwards. The glow that shone through him got so bright that I could not watch. Then, with a tinkle of wind chimes, Ferdinand was gone.